Thursday, June 15, 2006

Oh, yes. I look JUST like Julia Roberts. And Jacques Villeneuve

I've apparently got one of THOSE faces. I'm pretty frequently being told, "You look just like ..." And what comes out of people's mouths next is usually some actress who 1) looks nothing like me, and 2) looks nothing like the last person I was compared to.

It's not just the occasional "Has Anyone Ever Told You You Look Like Hilary Swank?" (who played the roll of a young man VERY convincingly). Umpteen years ago when my senior class had a panoramic picture taken, I proudly showed it to my Mammaw and asked her to pick me out. I was sitting on the front row, ankles crossed, hands primly laid across my knees (just like I ALWAYS sat) and, blessedly, my hair had grown out of The Perm.

She studied it a minute, and then pointed to the third row, where Andrew, our class's official Longhaired, Pot-smoking Dude was smirking knowingly. The damage was permanent.

So when I found a link to this very cool site, I was curious to see who I would be compared to. After uploading a photo, the site utilizes fancy-schmancy technology to compare you (or anyone else you happen to have a photo of) to a database of "the world's 3,200 most famous men and women."

Ohhhh. Fun.

So I uploaded this picture of myself and waited patiently to see who my celebrity look-alike is. After which I planned to contact her so we could get to know one another before becoming Best Friends Forever.



The first match I get is Courtney Cox. OK. That's flattering, but ... come on. We look like we could maybe be cousins. If she fell on her face.

But my FAVORITE, and the third best match on the list, is (drum roll, please):

Matthew Broderick. Yeah. The skinny little guy from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Inspector Gadget." That Matthew Broderick.

Well, now. I couldn't just take that. So I uploaded a different picture. (Hey, the site told me to.) The problem is I don't have that many photos of myself. I'm always the one taking them.

So I chose the profile photo I use on this blog. Big mistake. Big. Big. Mistake. Apparently I should delete this photo immediately. Because, y'all, you know who my first match was? With an even greater compatibility ratio than Ms. Cox?

Kevin Bacon. Mr. Six Degrees Of. Kevin Freakin' Bacon.

But it gets worse.

In order of compatibility, I also learned I could pass for Swiss politician Moritz Leuenberger (huh?), racecar driver Jacques Villeneuve, actor/comedian Jack Black (by which point I'm ever-so-willing, begging even to be compared to Ferris Bueller) and Bob Dylan.

Bob. Dylan. My mouth opens. But no sounds comes out.

My sweet Lord. Mammaw was right.

-30-

16 comments:

Diane@Diane's Place said...

Unless you keep some things VERY well hidden, I don't see the masculine side of you in either of those pics. Do you shave? Your face, that is....Do you scratch and adjust certain, um....Things frequently for reasons known only to the male of the species?

You appear to be pretty feminine to me. I'M not EVEN going to that site, no telling who they'd compare ME to. Probably Henry Kissinger, LOL. ;-)

Good post, Toni, and SERIOUSLY funny. ;-)

Barb said...

I agree with Diane - I'm staying away from that site! They're nuts. You don't look like Kevin Bacon. Really. You don't.

Brenda said...

I'm cracking up. You don't look a thing like Jack Black, or any other men for that matter. Even those of the effeminate persuasion. You do, however, remind me of my friend Michelle. Tall, lean, funny - oh my word she's funny. No, she isn't famous, but she is pretty, and did I mention funny?

Anonymous said...

Come on - you set them up. I didn't even think that picture looked like you. But the blog is funnnny :-)

Love ya.

Anonymous said...

Toni - YOU CRACK ME UP - I was laughing so hard reading this!! Sorry you had such a crazy response.
By the way, in response to your other post right before this, I did take notice of your SUN KISSED SHOULDERS last night at church. There's no "pasti-ness" there, girl. (And, if it makes you feel better, since Mali has been born, I get told all the time..."Wow, Terri. You finally got a FAIR child like you". Gee...thanks. I am not fair. I'm Caucasion, ok.

Robin said...

I'm laughing so hard I think I just might wet myself, or wake the baby up, which would be much worse. This post is too funny. I shan't be uploading any of my pics. Ignorace is bliss.

Addie said...

Too funny! You are brave. However, you DO NOT look like Bob Dylan, or for that matter, a man! I'd just say Courtney Cox and call it a day! :-)

Theresa said...

My friend Robin gave you some link love over at her blog so I stopped by ~ your post is hilarious! I was laughing so hard. Although I have to admit I thought the far away picture of you on your blog I thought you did resemble H. Swank. But, NOT in the boy movie!! I think she is gorgeous. Oh, and I'm saying you are always welcome to Beautiful People Day! I mean look atcha!!

Anonymous said...

Geez, Toni. That's worse than a WuName! And you're no Bob Dylan. I always thought that you look like Neve Campbell in photos. So there's one more for your list.

I uploaded a pic of me and my husband...... got Willie Nelson and Elisha Cuthbert! Maybe they just randomly draw celeb names!

Anonymous said...

(that was from Danni btw)

Barb said...

Toni! I did it! You HAVE to read my results! How fun was this?

Diane@Diane's Place said...

Okay, Toni, I did it, too, after Barb and you did it. I had to see who I looked like. It's up on my blog if you're brave enough to check it out. :-)

Girl Raised in the South said...

Hysterical, and of course being a groupie I have to try it. You are too funny.

Toni said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Girl Raised in the South said...

I can see Hillary Swank, not so much Kevin Bacon. Maybe even Matthew Broderick, that is if he were really pretty. You are really really pretty. Really. No matter what this hysterical web site says. Like that you might look like Kevin Bacon.

boomama said...

Too. scared. to. try. it.

And I'm a Bloggin' Queen now?

CRACKS ME UP.

Do I get a crown?